Final Goodbye
by emii sakano
Summary: He told her he loved her, and would forever. When she came, she was told to test him. His love failed the test, and now she will do everything she can to let him live. --rated for erm, possible death, sucky summary, ne? - - read


Disclaimer: I own not the anime entitled Cardcaptor Sakura.  
  
Summary: He told her he loved her, and would forever. When she came, she was told to test him. His love failed the test, and now she will do everything she can to let him live.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Final Goodbye  
  
  
Syaoran looked curiously at the envelope that had appeared on his desk. The eighteen year old automatically assumed that it was from his girlfriend, as the color of the envelope was a light sakura-blossom pink. But the color slowly started fading, and growing darker, until it was a dark amber-almost crimson in an absurd way color.  
  
It reminded him of something, but he couldn't bring to mind what.  
  
Then he opened the envelope, and a letter fell out of it, written in small fluid, chinese kanji. But a special style that had been developed by the Li clan.  
  
Now he knew what it was.  
  
He sighed irritably, Mei Ling was probably writing, no bothering, him about when he would come back to China, and if he would bring Sakura with him.  
  
What had happened to her.  
  
She had gone from a cool, calm, collected, intelligent, mage-level (the same level of magic as he was) child, to a spoiled, ditzy, brat.  
  
Sighing, he debated on whether or not he would read the letter, or just throw it into the fireplace. Finally he decided to read it, if she was going to bother him about Sakura, she already knew his answer anyway.  
  
And she had even helped to set them up.  
  
Even if he had been second guessing himself at the time.  
  
In truth, he missed her.  
  
Missed who she used to be.  
  
Missed the person he had first fallen in love with.  
  
Then a particularly loud curse from the kitchen snapped him out of his daze, and, out of curiosity, he opened the letter and started reading it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
//Xiao Lan,  
  
Its me. Chibi-mei. Do you even remember that name? It was the nickname you gave me when Auntie Yelan started teaching us Japanese.  
  
I was so much shorter than you then, and you always teased me about it. Then it stuck. //  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran grinned. He did remember that nickname, though it was odd. He couldn't remember why he stopped calling her that. All he remembered was her looking at him sadly one day when he started calling her Mei Ling again.  
  
  
  
  
//But I'm not writing this just to remnisce on long forgotten memories.  
  
Plus, if you remember that already, that means my magic is either coming back to me, or........ never mind. I don't want you mad at me while you still have a chance to stop what I have started.  
  
I know that I just confused you with that statement, and believe me I did it on purpose.  
  
Do you remember how powerful I used to be? Barely a speck less powerful than you?  
  
You should truthfully be more powerful than the cardmistress?  
  
Did you truely believe that it was possible for magical ability of that size to fade to fraction it is now, or in my case, to nothing?//  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran's brow wrinkled slightly in confusion. He had been told that that always happened in the Li family, their magic fading that is. If not then... what happened to it?  
  
  
  
  
//Its not posible Inu-chan. All that happened was that I used a spell on you. A binding spell. As I have weakened this past month, the energy I used to maintain that spell, I slowly took back.   
  
You may have noticed this in way. In the past month, your stamina will have shot up to a whole new level, in practice, you would use spells you probably didn't realize you knew, and you may have gained a few inches in height.  
  
And you no longer need to use your broadsword.//  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran paused in shock. Everything that she said was true. A few weeks ago, sparring against the Moon guardian, he had seen an arrow to late to dodge, then raised his hand defensively and encased himself in a magical shield without knowing how he had done it.  
  
And just yesterday, he thought of reaching for the pendant that was the sealed form of his sword, and to his surprise, one of pure magic, obviously his, shone in his hand instead. It looked exactly like his usual sword, but was lighter, sharper, and easier to use.  
  
But how had she known of this?  
  
  
  
  
//I'm willing to bet that you want to know how I know this, ne Inu-chan?  
  
Well, as I said before, I used most of my magical energy holding your powers back.  
  
And recently, I have found need to take those powers back.  
  
As well as the power that Auntie Yelan held for me as well.  
  
I need all of it for what I am doing now.  
  
  
  
But enough of that. I have more important things to remind you off.  
  
Do you remember the survival trip we took together?  
  
Stripped of almost all our magic, and left alone in a house full of magical booby traps, unable to sense them, or disable them?  
  
Otherwise known as 'reflex training'?  
  
Atashi no baka.  
  
Of course you don't remember. You revoked that action, its consequences, and my life when you declared your love for her the 10th time. But you must remember so you can understand.  
  
Gomen Nasai.  
  
Honto ni.   
  
Gomen nasai.//  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran's brow crinkled in confusion once again. What memory was she talking about. What reflex training?  
  
  
  
  
  
//We were around 4 or 5, but we made decisions that the adults themselves could not make.  
  
We had the power of the elders  
  
The only thing that they had that we didn't was experience, and they would do their best to give, and prepare us for, that.   
  
So they set up an obstacle course.  
  
And our first 'obstacle' was getting through a magically, and physically, booby-trapped house with our magical senses dulled.  
  
Halfway through the house, I pushed you out of the way of a magical arrow. Though it passed through my physical body, it wounded my magical self so badly that I felt it both physically and mentally.  
  
And we knew that I would not survive the wound.  
  
Then you gathered me in your arms, and whispered in my ear that you would not let me die.  
  
Then you tilted my head up, and kissed me, using that intimate contact in two ways.  
  
#1 to comfort me.  
  
and #2, as a channel to blend our auras, our spirits, our souls.  
  
And then we got the shock of our life.  
  
Our souls were already tied together, and what you had just done to heal me made it impossible for one to live without the other.  
  
  
  
Do you remember it yet?  
  
No.  
  
Of course not.  
  
You're love for Sakura would have had to be true to nearly severe our bond. And for you to have said 'I love you' to her ten times.  
  
You always had problems expressing yourself to others.//  
  
  
  
Syaoran set the letter down in confusion. If what Meilin said was true...then it would explain the visions that he had been having........  
  
Then he shook his head in denial. It couldn't be.  
  
Then he picked up the letter to continue reading.  
  
  
  
  
//Now that that is adequately explained, I feel that I must explain why I took the power-binding spell off of you.  
  
You see, when you went to Japan, in even the short time that I was alone in China, I was weakening.  
  
I would have died two months after you left me.  
  
And they would not let me go to you.  
  
We had many enemies you see.  
  
So I made a deal.  
  
I would test your love, if they would just let me go.  
  
And while I was there, I did just that, knowing they were watching me every moment. I acted ditzy, annoying, bratty, compulsive in a bad way, and obssessive.  
  
And I ultimately pushed you away.  
  
And when I realised that you were going out of my reach, I could not stand it. So I took back more of my wounded soul, and gave back more of your healthy, loving soul. And then I went back to China.  
  
When you came back in sixth grade, I was at my happiest.   
  
Despite the tearing I felt near my soul as you took back a tiny amount of yours, while still keeping mine.  
  
Then we went back because of the card of Emptiness, the one that Sakura called 'the Void'. And I had to act as though I wanted you two together.  
  
And I spent a lot of time crying in Tomoyo's arms as you took back tinier than tiny bits of your soul while keeping mine.  
  
She knew what I was doing, and asked me why many times.  
  
And each time I asked her why she was doing it as well.  
  
And as it progressed through these six years, you took back more and more of your soul, while still keeping yours.  
  
But a bridge cannot stay up with one connection only.  
  
You see, when you said that you loved her the tenth time, earlier today.  
  
You nearly severed our bond.  
  
Normally this would have just killed me, but because of what you had done that time, you would be killed to.  
  
So I held on, and kept a small part of us connected.  
  
And through that small part, I have been giving you my soul.  
  
I will not let you die!  
  
You kept me alive then, it is only right of me to keep you alive now.  
  
So as I sent you my soul, I am now sending you my magic.  
  
And tonight, I will commit seppuku, with Auntie Yelan as my second.  
  
She does not like it, but she understands.  
  
However, she told me that she refuses to follow the barbaric Japanese custom of me thrusting a sword through my stomach, then her chopping my head off.  
  
So instead, I will slit my wrists, then she wil slide a dagger through my back into my heart.  
  
But while she does this, I will give you the last of my, our, souls.  
  
But don't be bitter. Originally I wasn't going to tell you this, but Auntie convinced me otherwise. Your sisters as well.  
  
That is why I sent you this letter.  
  
Inu-chan. Syao-kun. Xiao Lan.  
  
This is my final goodbye.  
  
I will always be with you.  
  
In this life and the next.  
  
And I will always love you.  
  
Always.//  
  
  
As Xiao Lan stared incomprehensibly at the letter, the grandfather clock that time kept in perfect shape, and time, started ringing a quarter to midnight.  
  
"Iie....."  
  
His eyes glazed over as a tide of memories came over him.  
  
"Iie...."  
  
Suddenly he snapped out of it, tears shining in his eyes as he abruptly stood, exchanging his casual clothes for his ceremonial robes, absent mindedly screaming something as he raised his hand and readied himself for the warm waves of teleportation.  
  
As he left, his girlfriend opened the door of his apartment, running in from the overload of magical energy that she had felt, but was to late. All she saw of him was the letter floating slowly to the ground.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
:yawns: wadda think, think i should continue it? love it hate it review it! 


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